Dauntless A Broken Girl
by isa's misery
Summary: Tobias was not the only child of Marcus, he had a sister. And three years after he defected she followed. One girl stands out, and catches the youngest leaders attention, whether he wants her to or not. She suffered pain and is hiding secrets even from her brother, pain that the least expected person manages to heal, in an very unorthodox, and unapproved, way
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Alright chapter one! So before you read I want to get a few things straight. 1) I'm writing this on my phone it is literally impossible to edit. So sorry in advance. Maybe one day I start using a computer. 2) This is the first thing I have written in years. I'm down for constructive criticism but 'this sux' is a waste of everyone's time. 3) I changed a couple things, choosing is when their 17 not 16 as I just like that age better. Feels more adult like haha. Also there is a three year age gap between Tris and Tobias instead of two, and this is set in her initiate year but focuses on my OC. It will 'follow' divergent til the end then ill start changing it more and more and basically 2 and 3 wont exist plot wise. By follow I mean all Divergent ideas and people are property of Veronica Roth. I will try to use a lot of her main scenes but since I am adding in a new character and changing some ideas (dauntless training ect) a lot of it will fall out the window. Literally, dauntless style.

Hmm...I think that's it. Well, here it is.

**Chapter One**

Clarissa slowly ambled down the ally keeping in step with her brother who seemed to be dragging his feet. "Tobias?" She asked softly, "Why so glum, you get to choose tomorrow." She said the word choose almostly reverently. It was a day a lot of youth dreaded, but she looked forward to being considered an adult, to leave, to be free.

Tobias Eaton glanced at his younger sister. He was seventeen, he knew this day was coming. While he too wished nothing more than to leave he was afraid, for her. "Well, I guess I wont know until the aptitude test this after noon." He hedged, afraid of answering the question.

She scoffed. "Please, even if it results abnegation we both know you'll choose something else." She paused, then smiled slyly at him. "Maybe amity. Peaceful. Yes you're definitely peaceful."

It was his turn to scoff. After last night he was pretty sure they could at least agree he wasn't peaceful, if nothing else. He rubbed his knuckles remembering the rush he felt as he fought back. His backed ached though, Marcus was not very forgiving. They walked the rest of the way in silence, once they reached the school they parted with a brief tight smile.

Clarissa moved towards her morning class, faction history. She filed in among the other fourteen-year-olds. None of them seemed to care that today was a life changing event. They weren't taking the test. And if they had siblings who were they probably expected them to stay within their respective factions. She sighed, and tried to focus on the lesson, not wanting to think about how she'd be going home alone tomorrow, and everyday thereafter.

Clarissa found her brother waiting outside at the end of the day, she was thankful he waited to walk her home. Maybe he realized how truly lonely she'd be once he left. They both went out of their way to avoid people, never wanting them to look to close, see the truth, to face Marcus if someone ever found out. "How was it?" She asked once they were halfway home, away from most of the crowds, a few abnegation children walking in a group ahead of them.

"You're not supposed to ask." He laughed, she was terrible at being selfless. She was so curious, he thought she'd make a good erudite.

"So?"

Tobias just sighed a little. "Abnegation, as expected. He'll be pleased."

"Until tomorrow you mean." She pressed.

He just smiled at her and again they finished the walk in silence. Once home they worked efficiently together to make dinner. It was ready, with most of it cleaned up, by the time their father got home. Marcus was tight lipped but in no worse a mood then this morning. As a leader he probably had access to the results and was satisfied with Tobias' result.

Marcus surprised them both at then end of the silent meal."I'll finish cleaning up. The two of you should go to bed early tonight, for some self reflection time."

"Of course father," Tobias said before his sister had a chance to say something stupid. "Thank you." The two carried the dishes into the kitchen, before heading up to bed. Once in the hallway, Clarissa turned to her brother unsmiling.

"How can we have self reflection without looking in a mirror?" She whispered rebelliously.

He frowned at her. "Just... Just go to sleep." He finally sighed. "I'll see you in the morning." He hesitated before leaning in and giving her a brief hug. She returned it somewhat stiffly, neither of them used to the contact.

"Goodnight."

This next morning, after an easy breakfast of oatmeal, Clarissa climbed into her fathers car, Tobias and her father in the front seat. As a leader he had transportation and today was a special day. The choosing ceremony. Once they reached the building they shuffled up the stairs in a group of murky grey, no one standing out against another. Once in the room Marcus was called off to the side to talk to some others. Tobias took the moment they had alone as they headed to the seats, leaving one for their father, to grab her hand. She was surprised but didn't pull away. "I love you, you know." He said as they sat down.

"I know." She replied.

"I'm sorry," He went on to say, very softly, she almost missed it.

"I know." Clarissa repeated, just as soft. They released hands just before Marcus came to sit down, no other words spoken.

Amity was hosting this years choosing. The woman dressed in a yellow sun dress with a red cardigan took the stage, repeating the words that were spoken every year. Clarissa tuned out, just as she was sure Tobias had. The room waited in tense silence as the first youth was called, walking up to the five large bowels the boy looked confident in erudite blue. Sure enough a moment later Johanna called out the expected faction "Erudite!" The crowd in blue erupted into small cheers and applause.

Finally it was Tobias' turn. He stood stiffly as his name was called, and didn't look at either family member as he walked passed down to the stage. All at once Clarissa felt terrified he would stay and terrified he would go. It was a lose-lose situation. It felt like a lifetime but could only have been seconds when the Amity leader called out, mild shock in her voice, "dauntless!" She exhaled a breath she didn't know she had been holding, refusing to look at the man beside her whose anger she could literally feel radiating off in waves.

'It's going to be a long three years.' She thought sadly to herself. But she would make it through, scarred perhaps, but she would make it. He couldn't do any worse then had been done two years previous. 'Dauntless.' She thought with a sudden ferocity. She would repeat it to herself many times over the next few years, a mantra, her lifeline. 'Dauntless.'

Clarissa bounced out of bed the moment the woke up. She was literally trembling with excitement. Yesterday had been well enough but today, today was her choosing ceremony. She dress carefully in grey slacks, grey t shirt and a grey tunic over top. After tying her basic grey shoes she cautiously made her way downstairs. It was quiet in the house. "Must have stayed at the office last night." She muttered to herself. Since Tobias defected three years ago Marcus had thrown himself into his work. Most saw his taking on ridiculous workloads as his selflessness but Clarissa saw it for what it was. An escape. His oldest child had, embarrassingly, transferred to a different faction. Maybe he thought that by leaving the rest of her upbringing to the other adults of the faction she'd stay. Whatever his reason she had barely seen her father over the last three years. She could barely even remember the last time they spoke, though she knew he had been mad that night. She was 'sick' and kept home from school for a whole week while she healed after that. It must of been around her seventeenth birthday, though selflessly she had never celebrated.

She ate an apple quickly, before wrapping her hair in a plain bun and rushing out the door. She needed to catch the bus today. She arrived at the stop after the other seventeen-year-old abnegation children, just in time as it pulled around the corner as she entered the group. It was almost comical watching them all try and let each other on first, if it wasn't so annoying. Finally they were on the bus and four stops later all the abnegation had given up their seats as it got fuller. That is something she wouldn't miss.

Once the bus reached the main building she again watched abnegation let everyone off first, which was almost harder then just getting off as they were already standing. Finally after climbing the stairs she reached the circular room with five bowls up front on stage. After a quick scan of the room Clarissa slowly walked over to the group of her current faction members, sliding into a spot beside her father. She was almost surprised to see him there, but of course he had to keep up appearances. Maybe he knew that, like Tobias, her aptitude test result wasn't going to keep her in the faction. He didn't even look at her as she sat down, perhaps he was already stewing about her defecting as well. He had to know she would. Glancing sideways at him she saw that looked tired, though clean shaven and ready for the day. He probably expected to be approached if and when she transferred. Need to look the part, always need to look the part.

This year was hosted by Erudite, once all the seats were filled Jeanine Mathews strode onto the stage. She, very eloquently, gave the yearly speech. But just like every year Clarissa focus more on the bowls then the talking figure. Finally the youths were being called. She would be near the end as it went reverse alphabetical order. This year she paid attention, wanting to catch the name of everyone who she would go through initiation with. There were the mostly non transfers, generally being raised one way made it hard to choose to change. The were a few transfers, nothing unusual. Then a boy from abnegation; there were shocked mutters from the people around her as Jeanine shouted "Erudite!" it was selfish to want to leave. The next one called was Beatrice, Caleb's sister. We had done home work together sometimes, especially the last three years when Marcus had been working and the other parents all insisted I came over for dinner or walked to school with them. Even more shocking was the cry of "Dauntless!" that meant she too had transferred. Clarissa would never have suspected that from either of them. Then again others would say that of her.

In no time she heard her name being called. She stood, still not making eye contact with her father, and made her way to the front. She was oddly calm, despite knowing how people would react. She wasn't even really excited, as her blood dropped onto the dauntless coals it just felt... Right.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So as I'm writing I keep trying to slip into first person so from now on it will generally be Clarissas POV... maybe a weird mix of first and third... Is that a thing? Any English majors out there? Lol. Hope its not to confusing. Anyways, here's chapter two. Finally it gets interesting I abhor filler!

Clarissas POV

Once the ceremony ended the dauntless were the first on their feet. I followed the rush of people out the door in a mess of limbs as we all flew down the stairs. This felt good, it was so easy to be apart of this crowd. Despite my clothing difference it felt natural, like I belonged. I climbed the metal posts up to the train tracks. After watching for years I knew what came next. So too did Beatrice, who was in line beside me, both of us grinning like crazed people. After a few moments of waiting the train came and I realized we were crazy, running to get in line and pull ourselves into the train car. I had watched them do it but never really appreciated the strength and coordination required to pull yourself up. Beatrice must have felt the same as we were both panting as we leaned against the wall.

"Made it did you?" I turned to see a tall girl dressed in candor colours speaking to us. "Two stiffs," She gave a small laugh and I knew she wasn't trying to be mean. "How unusual. "

"Yea well, couldn't let Beatrice go alone, when I saw her transfer." I winked at Beatrice as I said this.

"I'm Christina, this is Beatrice and you're..." She trailed off looking at me.

"Clarissa, " I smiled. "Nice to meet you."

"What do you thinks next?" Beatrice asked, as we all peered around at the other faces. Mostly transfers in this car, dauntless born were probably closer to the front.

I listened quietly as the two thought aloud, I still wasn't used to being talkative. After awhile one of the other transfers yelled "They're jumping!" Sure enough, after we all scrambled to our feet, I saw black clad people flying out of the train to a building a few feet across. We were at least seven stories up. Christina and Beatrice were still at the door as I backed up and when they moved I rushed forward without thinking. I jumped, pushing myself with as much power as I could, leaping across the distance. I didn't land very gracefully, but I landed. I think I was the first transfer across looking around as I stood up. I heard a shriek to my left and saw someone slip off the roof. I shut my eyes and stepped away from the edge, I didn't want to see that. I opened my eyes to see others continuing farther onto the roof, apparently no one cared that someone had just died. I swallowed hard, I didn't want to be the one who showed weakness, no matter how much my abnegation upbringing was screaming at me. I needed to change, be brave and fierce. I looked around again as I followed the majority of the group forward and sighed as I saw Beatrice and Christina had made it.

"Listen up!"

My head jerked towards the deep commanding voice. I was surprised at how young he looked, considering the authority his very presence held. He had tattoos on his arms and neck, a few facial piercings, and blond hair shaved around the sides.

"My name is Eric, I'm one of the five dauntless leaders." He continued. Ah, I thought, young as he is that explains it. Leader is a big deal, he must be good to get it so young, ambitious. "Behind me," He gestured to the edge of the building, caged in with three other buildings. "Is the members entrance. Its your only way in." He jumped off the lip and glared at the mumbled 'we _just_ jumped' before addressing us again. "Who's first?"

You've got to be kidding me, not even an explanation. He didn't reply as someone asked what was at the bottom just glared a bit more, obviously irritated at having to be here. He was very impatient it seemed. He looked ready to snap at us when I heard a familiar voice say "me." Beatrice was jumping first. I almost couldn't believe it as I watched her walk forward towards the hole. She took off her tunic, dressed much like I had, before climbing onto the ledge. "take it off!" a boy jeered from the crowd. I turned to him, dressed in candor white and black. I could tell we wouldn't be friends.

"I don't have all day, initiate! " Eric snapped impatiently. Beatrice jumped. We all rushed forward to see what happened, but we saw only into darkness. I realized, too late with my concern for her, that everyone else had pulled back again, I was left standing alone at the lip and Eric looked at me with raised eyebrows. "Two stiffs. I don't believe it." He smirked. "This doesn't seem to be your type of thing."

I glared back as I climbed, "there's a reason we transferred." I stepped backwards off the roof, without thought, and felt a surge of satisfaction as I saw a moment of surprise cross his features. I felt the building whoosh past my legs, a few inches closer and I might have broken them on the way down. That was stupid, I should have pushed out farther. I didn't even realize what I had done until I hit a net, and bounced a few times. I just jumped off a fucking roof. I suddenly noticed the dip in the net as hands reached toward me. Right, if I don't get off the next person might land on me. I grabbed the first pair I could reach and he pulled me of the net, steadying my shoulders as I remembered how to breath.

I turned to thank him, but stopped short, my mouth still open. Unbelievable. I knew he'd be here but I never expected him to be the first person I saw in the compound. My mouth still open I realized he was talking. "Name? One stiff doesn't know her name and now two." I heard some scattered laughing and snapped my mouth shut, glaring at my sooner-then-expected-seen brother. "if it's that difficult you can change it but you can only change it once."

"Clair." I think I snarled at him, ripping out of his grasp and moving towards Beatrice.

"Clair, second jumper!" He repeated already reached for the next initiate. I watched a woman write my name on a board, under 'Tris.'

"Tris, I like it." I smiled at her.

"Clair has a certain ring to it," She laughed. I don't think she recognized my brother. Then again, its been three years and I barely recognized him. I looked over as he pulled the fourth jumper off, he didn't seem to care I was here. I think I'm still too shocked to be upset. I'll let upset creep in later, right now, I made it! I couldn't help but share laugh more initiates joined us. We jumped off a train, and then a building. We were here, we were dauntless. I let my mind wander aimlessly as we waited for the final jumpers. I was trying to come down from my adrenaline rush. Finally we stood facing Eric, my brother and some other dauntless members

"Alright, Dauntless born follow me!" The woman who wrote out all the names called out, not wasting any time. The majority of the group left us.

"Transfers! My names Four, you've met Eric. We're going to be your trainers for the next few months." Four? I wonder where that came from. Not that I care. He hasn't even looked at me. I don't care.

"Four?!" Christina called out. "Like the number? "

"Exactly like the number " Four replied. Eric stood beside him smirking. I think he was amused at Four being called out.

"What, were one, two and three taken?" She continued. Definitely a candor.

Four stepped close to her. "What's your name?"

"Christina. " She held her head high. At least we know she's brave.

"Well, Christina," He made her name sound like an insult. I'd was almost impressed, til I remembered I didn't care. "The first thing you learn from me, is to keep you mouth shut." He backed away without waiting for a response. "This way!" He called.

We all filed passed the remaining dauntless members. Four was pointing things out as we passed, apparently we were getting a tour.

"This is the pit center of life here at dauntless." Four stood at the edge we all peered into the middle. The pit was aptly named. He continued down the hallway leaving us with no choice but to follow. We were warned about the chasm briefly and led past it. "Here," He said a few turns later. "Is where you'll be sleeping."

I stepped into the room with the others. Five bunk beds, with lockers between them and doorway was across the room. "Girls or boys?" One of the candors ask.

"Both." Four and Eric were both smirking. When did he learn to smirk? Not that I care.

"If you like this you'll love the bathroom. " Eric laughed gesturing towards the door across the room. I walked towards it with a bad feeling in my stomach. Toilet and shower stalls, no doors, both with what appeared to be makeshift curtains that some modest soul must have put up at one point. The worst part was how dirty it was. It smelt awful, and looked worse. Id get dirtier then clean showering in there. We didn't have time to complain as we were already getting more instructions. "There's a pile of clothes for you here, find something and get dressed. Meet us in the hall with your old clothes." Eric and Four walked out after that.

Tris and I hung back, apparently our abnegation upbringing was ingrained in us both, we let everyone go first. Unfortunately that meant by the time we grabbed clothes everyone had chosen bunks and we were stuck with the one in the middle. There were two on either side against the wall and the one we were left with was in the middle, forming an 'H' in the room. The lockers on either side would provide us with some privacy as we slept but none as we stood there needing to change. Without saying anything we faced each other and started to dress, at least partially blocking the other with our body. There were a few crude comments but we managed to quickly pull our grey clothes off and black ones on. In fact, despite starting last we were the first two out the door. Four and Eric stood there, both seemed to be impatiently waiting, and neither even glanced at us as they continued a hushed conversation. After a few more minutes they started walking down the hall again, not even checking to see if everyone was there. I guess you snooze you lose is a common theme here.

They walked us down a few hallways and stopped at a burning bin. "Toss in your old clothes and then move inside the cafeteria. You are all dauntless now, time to start acting like it." Four said as he and Eric went into the directed room, leaving us to burn our clothes.

"What a waste," I muttered. "Surely something better could be done with them." I watched my clothes for a minute as Christina and Tris stepped up beside me and tossed theirs in.

"I guess it's symbolic, " Christina laughed. She had must have never spent much time around the under dressed and under fed factionless. "Who cares! Lets go eat!" She moved towards the room where everyone else had already gone, Tris and I being the only two who seemed put out by the burning. I'll stamp out the abnegation in me sooner or later, despite it having literally been beat in. I followed the two girls as they sat at a table with a few other initiates and, unfortunately I saw too late, Four. I sat across from Tris, who was between Four and Christina. I watched amused as she prodded a piece of meat, refusing to look at Four.

Christina watched her too. "What, you've never seen a burger before? "

"No, I've seen them... I've just never eaten one." Tris looked up at me and I shrugged, grabbing one and taking a quick bite.

I listened to the banter as I chewed the burger, there were a lot of things going on at once in the one piece of meat. Nothing like boiled chicken. I looked up startled when Four spoke. "I don't want to hear about your old factions." He looked at me. "You're dauntless now."

I couldn't help but frown as Tris turned to him "Were you a transfer too?" Well, I guess she really didn't remember.

Four just looked at her stoically. "What makes you think you can talk to me?"

Everyone turned to their suddenly very interesting food. Except Tris, "It must be because you're so approachable."

Before he had a chance to angrily reply, I butted in. "Like a bed of nails."

"Making friends already?" A deep voice asked as the body settled into the seat beside me on the bench. I didn't have to turn to know it was Eric and I certainly wasn't going to get caught staring while his leg was pressed against mine. I suddenly cursed our accommodations and eating arrangement, my childhood having not prepared me for being around so many people so closely and often. I couldn't even shift away as Will was on my other side.

"As usual," Four replied. He looked at Eric expectantly. At first glance I might assume they were friends but the wait he waited for whatever Eric came over for told me he was eager to part ways.

Eric glanced at the table of initiates. "Two stiffs and a couple candors, not your usual crowd." He continued.

"Yea, well, I like to keep people guessing." Four responded easily.

"Max is looking for you," I could feel the tension in Erics body as he said this, though he casually grabbed a burger and started eating.

Four frowned. "Again? I told him I'm not interested."

That seemed to satisfy Eric as he relaxed. "Maybe he'll get it this time." The two stood up together once they had both finished their food and left the dining hall.

"Weird, right?" Christina asked as she leaned in. "I don't think those two are friends."

"I suppose we'll find out," Will said. "Since they'll be training us together."

"Hey," I thought suddenly. "Anyone remember how to get back to the dorm?"

They all looked at me for a second. "I think I do." Will said. "I mean, it cant be hard to find, they wouldn't just leave us if they expected us to get lost?" Erudite logic, I thought with a small laugh.

"I wouldn't be surprised if those two hoped we got lost, so they wouldn't have to bother with us." Tris said looking around. The other group of transfers had already left. "Shall we try to find it?"

We all stood up, "Lead the way smarty pants." I gestured Will ahead of Christina, Tris and I. There was another boy with us too, Al. He looked like a nice guy, despite his size.

After a few u-turns and asking three different people for directions we found the dorms. "Well that wasn't hard!" Christina said with a laugh. "I bet in three weeks we'll only get lost once!"

We all agreed and moved towards our bunks. Will was sharing with Peter, Molly and Drew on the same side of the room. Christina had a bunk with Al and the the two other Erudite transfers, Edward and Myra, were beside them. We all crawled into our bunks, Christina muttering about needing more clothes. I couldn't help but agree with her. Being clean and having privacy was one luxury I never realized I had in abnegation. I fell into an uncomfortable sleep on the top bunk. Tomorrow, we'd get things figured out.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The next morning I was startled awake with some loud banging. It took me a moment to remember I was in dauntless compound as I blearily opened my eyes and peered around. Four stood at the entrance with a large pipe, I covered my ears as I saw him winding back to hit it against the door frame again.

"Initiates! " He called. "Two minutes to be dressed and meet me in the hallway." He turned and walked back out the door.

I sleepily swung down off my bunk, careful not to hit Tris, and sat beside her to tie my shoes. Looks like we both slept in full clothes. Once finished we headed out with the others and followed Four as he walked down the hallway. I tried to pay more attention to where we were going but I did not focus well right when I woke up. Finally he moved into a cavern like room.

"As you'll recall me saying yesterday this is the pit! Here you'll find everything you need. Initiates are issued a certain amount of points each month and store keepers will deduct from your account as you buy things. Careful not to spend them all in one place you will not be given extra."

He turned to walk down a few more hallways and we all obediently followed. We ended up in the same room we ate in last night. Having missed lunch yesterday I realized I was starving. "You have half an hour to eat before we head to the training room!" Four told us. Not needing to be told twice we sat down at the closest empty table and I wasted no time grabbing a bit of everything.

"Hungry? " Al laughed at my plateful.

"Very," I agreed as I took a bite of something delicious. "But I mostly want to try everything!"

Christina, Will and Al spent the meal taking turns telling Tris and I what we were eating. I ate more then the others and finally Will couldn't take it.

"Where do you put it all! Pancakes, sausages, bacon, ham, hash browns, eggs. Did you eat a cake when I wasn't looking too?!"

I looked around eagerly. "There's cake?"

"No... Clair seriously your gonna get sick eating all that."

I rested a hand on my belly. "I love eating, we were given portions but eating was one thing I could always do without felling bad.." I frowned thinking. "I think I remember my dad saying I had my moms metabolism... Something to do with food whatever it means "

"Metabolism," Will said as we grouped with the others to once again follow Four. "Is how your body takes the food. Digests it into energy for you to use. Someone whose large and eats the exact same as someone smaller just has a slower metabolism. Their body doesn't digest it into useful cells as well, and they're left with more fat."

"Oh. I guess I know who I'm always directing my questions too." I joke poking his arm.

Before he had a chance to respond we were walking into a large room. Four stood next to Eric on a raised mat.

"OK!" Four started, "This is the training room. You are to be here at eight every morning. We'll break for lunch and the continue until six. After supper the evening is yours, to do whatever you please. Training is broken down into three stages. The first is physical, we'll be spending a lot of time in here. The second is emotional, and the third is mental. At the end of each stage your rankings will be posted." He gestured to a board behind him which had our names alphabetically.

"Ranking? Ranking for what?"

"Your ranking will decide the kind of job you get after initiation. "

"And," Eric jumped in. "It will decide who gets cut." His voice was very cold as he said that.

"Cut?" Al took the bait.

"Yes," Eric smirked. "The end of stage one four people will be cut. Four of you or four dauntless born or any combination in between. At the end of stage three only sixteen of you will be accepted. There are ten of you and sixteen dauntless born, so another six will be sent out."

"Sent out where?" Peter asked.

"Well, you can't go back to your families, so you'll be factionless." Silence met Erics statement.

"Factionless!" Christina said. "If we had known-"

Eric interrupted her. "You'd what? Choose differently? What, out of fear? You choose us, now we get to chose you."

Four continued on to explain how we would be ranked but everyone was a little forlorn. Chances are all ten of us would be cut. "Now! Let's get started!"

We spent the morning watching Four demonstrate some basic moves, trying to reproduce them ourselves. It didn't seem like much but by lunch everybody was starting to get sore. After lunch we continued but he had us start hitting a hanging bag. Four and Eric moved around the room, telling everyone what they doing wrong and fixing stances. Four reached Tris beside me as Eric reached Christina on my other side. "Keep your center tight," I saw Four put his hand on Tris' stomach. I tensed my stomach and threw another punch.

"Your arms are too low," Eric said reaching out and lifting Christinas arms so they block her face better. I raised my arms too.

Four was telling Tris to use her elbows when Eric stood behind me. I threw a few more punches studiously ignoring him. Suddenly his hands were on my hips shifting me a different direction. It took all my willpower not to jump and scream, not used to contact. I clenched my teeth and stared hard at the bag as he moved into my site. "You need to stand at an angle, so there's less of a target for your opponent to hit."

I looked over at him, he was amused, he probably knew in abnegation we rarely touched, unless your father was abusive but you never got used to that touch. "Are you saying I'm fat? There's so much of me to be a target?" I couldn't help it I wanted to make him even a little uncomfortable. He just smirked.

He slowly looked me up and down, I fought the blush at being so blatantly stared at but it won. "You said it stiff, not me." And then he turned to watch Tris, Four now behind me, glaring at Eric much as I was. I tensed my stomach, raised my arms and turned sideways. I threw myself into my next punch, wishing it was a person not a bag and felt satisfaction as my bag swung for the first time.

"Use that strength for every hit," Four said simply. "It will be exhausting but that is how you build muscle and stamina."

He moved on without another word. Now angry at both instructors it was easy to hit harder, I kept a rhythm and each time my arms sagged I tried a few kicks. I focused my on my arms though I figured if I couldn't grab anything that's fine but I need to walk.

When supper time rolled around we all wearily followed Four and Eric to the dining hall. I followed behind Tris without thinking and once seated found myself across from Christina. "So!" She said with more energy then she should rightfully have. "Dinner, then shopping." I really wasn't interested but I needed something that fit, and was clean. The group of us agree and after eating followed the excited girl to the pit. "Hey, I remembered where it was!" She stated proudly.

"Hah, the stores probably sung to you. I've never met anyone so excited for shopping" I looked at the two boys and Tris. They definitely didn't look eager.

"Well, abnegation would find it self-indulgent. And most boys don't care what they wear." Will and Al shrugged in agreement as Christina said that. "You're lucky you befriended me!" She continued, turning into a shop with clothes.

Friend. Was she my friend? I had never really had any before. She said it so casually. I saw Tris at the same time she glanced at me. We both smiled shyly at each other. I would say Tris was a friend now for sure. We always got along in abnegation but now it felt different. I guessed we were both as used to friend, or not friends, and Christina was a perfect start. Loud enough and insistent to keep us included. Speaking of she was shoving a bunch of clothes at me. "Go try them on!" She ushered me towards a tiny cubicle room.

Sighing I began the, I very soon found out, tedious process of putting clothes on and off in different styles and shapes. "Christina!" I called stepping out of the room in tiny shorts and a corset that didn't cover my stomach and had no straps. I knew it was a corset because of the tag. "I am not wearing this. Find me something less, less-" Her and I both jumped as an unfamiliar voice finished my sentence.

"Beautiful? " We turned to see a guy with dark skin fluttering his eyes at me. "Your skin radiates through the secured leather."

He was teasing me. He thought this was funny. Someone stepped up from my left and moved to stand next to him. "Zeke," My stomach dropped as he turned. Just my luck, Eric. "Stop flirting with my initiates. You'll scare them."

I'm embarrassed to admit my jaw dropped as I stepped back into the little room and slammed the door, hiding. A few minutes late Christina cracked it and smiled sheepishly at me. Handing me some more things. "I'm sorry, I'm impressed you put it on, if Tris did she refused to show me. I wanted to see what kind of clothes would suit you." She looked at me innocently.

I narrowed my eyes. "You mean how far you could push things like that on me. Why, I do believe that's the first almost lie you've ever told."

She grinned. "I didn't transfer for nothing. I've got your size these should be more your style."

I tried on the garments she left with much more success. I left the store with two tank tops, two t shirts and three sweaters that she said were to be worn as just a shirt. They were a little roomy, which I liked, and I got one in dark purple, dark red, and black. The only colour to my wardrobe. I also had three pants, two shorts , and a generic jacket, as well as more generic underwear and training bras. The store keeper told us that the light workout clothes were mass produced so required much less points then, for example a dress, and as trainees we were given enough to get the basics. I was surprised Christina found anything for herself she spent so much time dressing us.

Finally we reached the dorm, and I moved into the bathroom to take stock. I used the cafeteria wash room earlier but I need to shower. And this room was bad. The others came in behind me and scrunched their faces as they all took a shower stall. I couldn't even step all the way in. I turned and left the dorm, heading back for the pit. He said it was the center of dauntless. Sure enough after scanning several groups I saw Four among some others his age, one being the guy from earlier, Zeke. I walked up to him and grabbed his arm. He looked surprised, then worried as he saw me before his face closed off. "What?" He asked as Zeke said, "Beautiful! " Delightedly.

Four glared at Zeke and turned so he stood between us raising his eyebrows at me. "Where can I find cleaning supplies?" I asked.

He looked confused. "What?"

"Where," I repeated very slowly. "Can I find cleaning supplies."

"Have you gone deaf Four?" Eric laughed coming from the store behind me. Great just who I never wanted to see again.

"What do you need them for?" He asked.

I stared at him eyebrows raised, implying what a stupid question that was. "To clean." I said finally as his group laughed. "The bathroom in the dorm is beyond atrocious."

He glared at me and grabbed my arm pulling me away, a few hallways down he opened a door that must of been a janitors closet and pulled me in. His face changed.

"Clarissa." He said softly.

"What!?" I couldn't help but snap at him.

He seemed taken aback. "Look, I know I wasn't very receiving when you got off the net. I was surprised to see you, that's all."

"I'm seventeen Four," I emphasized his chosen name. I wish I could make it into an insult like he did with Christina. "What did you expect, me to stay?"

"No!" He said horrified. "I just always pictured Erudite."

"You were wrong."

"I see that. Dauntless isn't easy. You'll have to work hard." I opened my mouth to interrupt but he continued quickly. "I know you can! Stop glaring at me. But it's not always safe. I can't help you or give special treatment because you're my sister." He looked like he wanted to add something else but hesitated. Finally, "What was your aptitude result?"

I opened my mouth to say something jokingly but paused, he was being serious and looked worried. "Abnegation."

He nodded to himself. "Here's cleaning things. Make sure you return them and try to get some sleep tonight."

"OK." I grabbed a few things and let him close the door behind me, giving me directions to the dorm. "Thanks, Tobias." I said his name softly.

He smiled. "No going around telling people my name."

"Where'd Four come from?" I asked suddenly. He smirked and walked away. "Hey!" He just waved as he turned the corner Sighing I went to the dorm, and the dreaded bathroom. I got some weird looks but no one complained. By the time I was finished, and had returned to supplies it was late. I showered in a slightly less disgusting shower, dried and dressed. I was alone as everyone else was asleep so I took a moment to look at the mirror. At 5 foot 7 inches I was tall enough to easily see my waist up. I was definitely not fat, but had little muscle to speak of. My light brown hair was long, and I noticed it needed a cut. My green eyes stared back at me as I studied my high cheekbones, defined nose and rounded chin. Frowning I turned away and towards the dark room, found my bunk and crawled into bed in my new clothes. It felt good being clean, and wearing something that fit. Everyone was already asleep and I joined them easily, exhausted by everything.

A/N: Four and Clair are back on sibling terms... I wasn't sure how to put it in and I don't like what I got but nothing else comes to mind... also, I noticed I didn't say how she looked! We can just pretend abnegation, no mirror bs... right? Not because I forgot...


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Bang. Bang. Bang.

I refused to open my eyes, I felt like I just put my head down.

"Everyone up!" Bang!

I opened one eye and saw my brother standing in the same spot as yesterday. He seemed pleased with himself as he hit his metal pipe again.

"Up! Today's your last wake up call! Tomorrow morning you better figure it out. Be in the training room in forty minutes." Bang! He hit it casually as he left the room.

Forty minutes. I curled up under the blanket. Lots of time. I almost drifted back to sleep.

Poke. "Clair." Poke poke.

"Fukuff" I mumbled wiggling away.

Someone else poked my other side.

"Clair get up. You need to eat breakfast."

"No food, sleep." I tried drifting to sleep again. "Stop poking!" I snapped after a few more minutes.

"Clair, we all need the energy."

I opened my eyes and glared at the faces standing in front of me. I doubt my sleep crusted eyes were very intimidating. "Comon." Will added

Still glaring I half heartedly rolled out of bed, my head and arms still buried in the blanket as my feet swung to the ground. I didn't make any more effort to move.

"You slept fully dressed?"

"mmmhhfff." I said into the blanket.

Someone was slipping my feet into my shoes. I bet it's Tris. I looked over, Tris smiled at me. "I never realized you weren't a morning person." She commented.

"My body huuuuuuuurtts," I whined, everything stiff from yesterday.

"Lets go! We'll be lucky to make it on time with some muffins."

As I dejectedly followed the others to the cafeteria, I undid my braid from after my shower to let my hair dry. We managed to eat bacon and eggs on tops of muffins before rushing to the training room. I looked at a clock on the wall; 7:57. We headed to a back wall where everyone was grouped around Four.

"Knife throwing." He started off the lesson. He showed us a stance, how to balance knives and then did a few demonstrations. He was really good. "Everyone grab a set of knives and find a target."

I waited for the others to eagerly grab theirs, once I grabbed mine the end target was the only one open. As I stood in front of it I tried to reproduce the stance, and weighted the knives in my hand. I heard a few thumps and saw that others were already throwing. I tried the motion and my arms screamed in protest, so I decided to just stretch them first. By the time I was ready Four stopped the throwing and had everyone go grab the knives, all were on the floor.

"You haven't even thrown one?" I heard from my left, I turned to see Eric glaring at me. "Are the knives too heavy? Perhaps you'd like to start with a shorter distance."

I felt the anger course through my body, he pissed me off for no reason. I slowly positioned myself in the stance and pulled back my arm, it very mildly protested this time. I threw the knife and watched pleased as it stuck in the board, I missed the target but it stuck! As I turned to look at Eric smugly I heard the thud as my knife fell. My face also fell just as I looked at him, knowing it didn't stick and he smirked. "You're weak. You better figure out how to build muscle, fast." He moved to Edward beside me

I picked up my next knife carefully balancing and trying my position again. This time I hit the target but the knife was parallel to it and had no chance of sticking. By the end of the morning people were starting to get them to stick, with little luck on position. At least I wasn't the only one who sucked.

"The first day is the hardest for throwing." Four said to me. "Once your body remembers the movement it gets easier to aim, the more you do it the more fluid you'll become."

"Oh great. Just what I always wanted to be when I grew up; water." I said to him.

"There's too much mass on you to be water." I heard Eric say. I turned to him and tried to pull of a flabbergasted face. I think I probably mustered more of a strained looked.

"Stop calling me fat." I stamped my foot for theatrics. Four was right there, I trusted him not to let me get beat up.

Erics eyes narrowed at me, but I had no idea what he was about the say as Four interrupted.

"Stop throwing! Everyone put your knives away its time for lunch!"

I saw Eric turn his anger towards Four and took my opportunity to slip away, picking up my fallen knives and placing them back with the rest. This time the group of us found the cafeteria without following someone. I eagerly slipped into a seat sighing in relief as my body relaxed. "I never knew throwing things would hurt so much."

"Yea," Al agreed.

"Have you tried hot turkey before?" Will asked. Tris and I both prodded a sandwich with gravy that he slipped onto our plates. Apparently he liked our reactions, Christina only seemed to enjoy it when Tris coughed violently after eating something green.

"Cabbage." Al said in a voice that clearly meant that reaction was normal. I eyed my serving suspiciously before turning it to the far side of my plate.

"You should eat the veggies. They're healthy " Will said wisely.

"Thanks mom," Tris joked. "But they can't be too healthy if I cough to death."

"Cough to death!" Al snorted. "I don't think that's a thing."

We finished lunch without any more problems and headed back to the training room. We were paired up with the bags again. By the end of the session I was hugging it, leaning into it to hold me up. I wasn't the only one thoroughly exhausted. I watched amused as Eric berated Myra who had sat down. She looked close to tears as he turned away, his eyes narrowed in on me hugging my bag.

He opened his mouth but I spoke before he could. "Yes sir!" I stood and readied to kick the bag.

"What?" He said icily.

"You were gonna tell me to stop being lazy." I said then swung my leg up. As I did he kicked my other foot and I hit the floor hard on my back, my breath knocked from my lungs.

"Get off the ground, initiate." Eric said softly. I saw Tris carefully hit her bag, holding herself back from helping me up I assumed. I painfully stood up. "Kick your bag again."

I turned obediently and swung my leg again, and he kicked my foot exactly like before. Once again I looked up at him from the ground.

"Up." I stood. "Kick you're bag."

I crossed my arms. "Not if you're going to put me on the ground again." Probably a mistake to say but falling hurt.

He seemed to consider. "Punch your bag " He said finally.

Hesitatingly I turned and once in stance I tried to punch. Except, he grabbed my arm, moving his body against mine quickly and with his other hand on my hip he tossed me to the floor. I heard some scattered snickering and a gasp.

"Never assume you know what someone is about to do." He said furiously, before walking away. Good thing too because being tossed hurt a lot more then falling, I needed a moment to wallow in pity. Tris came over and bent to help me stand up.

"OK?" She questioned quietly, probably afraid of being tossed too.

"Just sore," I tried to smile. "Thanks."

Four was calling that we were done for the day so I let her help me hobbled towards the exit.

Four stopped us. "Take a long shower, alternate hot and cold on your back especially. You can buy packs but you probably don't have enough points. It should help loosen your muscles a little."

"Thanks!" Tris said smiling at him. I don't think he realized he smiled back.

"Let's shower first, while the others are eating." I suggested.

Tris simply led the way to the dorm, we grabbed some clean clothes and went to stalls next to each other.

"Thank you, by the way. Its much nicer to shower when its cleaner." She said.

"Of course."

"Show me where you got the supplies. I'll clean a bit." She didn't sound too eager and I couldn't help but laugh

"Don't worry. Cleaning is relaxing for me, and I get anxious when things are dirty. I don't really mind."

"Still, show me. I can help. I know I'm so tired and you were up later last night cleaning."

"If you insist."

We finished showering in silence and once we heard voices in the dorm both of us shut off the water to dry and dress. We walked out as Peter and Drew walked in.

"Maybe next time you can show with me stiff." Peter leered.

"Or not." I said disgusted.

"You sure?" Drew sneered at us.

"Yea, you won't get much once your factionless." Peter laughed. "You should take me up on my offer while there's a man around."

Tris peered around the room. "A man! Where?"

I laughed and pulled her away before he could retort. We waved to Al and Will and left to go find food. "I feel much better. Fours idea helped." I said as we sat down.

She nodded. "Me too."

After eating my chicken I realized I was almost asleep at the table. "Im going to bed." I stood up. "No no, finish eating." I pushed her shoulder as she made to stand She nodded and I left the room alone. I turned down four hallways before I realized I was lost. On the fifth turn I hit something hard, and would have bounced back and fallen had his arms not encircled me and pulled me close. My hands instinctively pushed against his chest and I looked up to say sorry but stopped at the furious look on Erics face.

"Watch where you're going." He snapped and turned me out of the way, my back pushed against a wall.

"I'm sorry," I said once again pushing his chest but instead of making him step away the move made him push harder into me, caging me against the wall. Wide eyed I let my hands relax and slide down his chest resting lightly against his hips. I was gripping him as if to shove him away but we both knew I didn't have the strength.

His face moved closer to me and tilted, "Don't let it happen again." He whispered harshly, so close his breath tickled my ear.

I nodded dumbly and a moment later I felt the cold sweep my body as he strode away. I stood there before following his direction once he was out of site. It took longer then I would have liked but I finally found the dorm and without saying anything to anyone I crawled into bed. I was still awake when Tris came in, my encounter with Eric playing in my head. Frustrated I focused on the black nothing behind my eye lids. I fell asleep listening to to conversations around me, briefly wondering how I'd wake up in the morning before I fully lost consciousness.

A/N: Alright. Finally a little more claric action, but im gonna let it develop slowly, sorta, i'll try too anyways. R&R constructive criticism welcome! =]


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"Clair," Tris was shaking my shoulder. "Get up."

I thought about rolling over and ignoring her but I didn't want to not be woken in the future. "Fine." I said sitting up. I winced as I did, "Seriously, muscles I didn't even know existed hurt."

"They probably didn't exist til recently!" Christina laughed.

"I doubt I gained any in two days." I thought about what we had been put through. "Then again..." I climbed off my bunk and put my shoes on. Braiding my hair I followed the others out the door.

"Who woke up on time?" I asked.

Christina lifted Wills arm showing me a watch. "He had an alarm. Good thing too he woke everyone this morning." She smiled at him.

After breakfast we headed to the training room and saw we were doing to exact same routine as yesterday. Knives, lunch, punching bags, supper, downtime. That evening Tris helped me clean the bathroom some more. The next day Will woke us all again, and we started the day much the same. After lunch Four changed it up and had us pair off and spar against each other. Him and Eric demonstrated a few new techniques and they definitely hit each other harder then necessary. Tris and I had paired up so every time a hit landed we went off into a string of apologies. Eric passed us once but looked disgusted as I pulled her up repeatedly saying sorry and he didn't come near us again. The end of the day left everyone a little more sore from any punches they failed to block.

Two days later Four led us to the roof, where he showed us how to use a gun. After naming a the parts, showing us how to load, unload, and use the safety, he stood in front of a target to show us how to shoot. As with knife throwing his aim was really good. Finally, he had us grab a gun and ammo and pick a target. I tried to put myself in the exact stance he had, and lifted the gun to my shoulder like he showed us. I evened out my breathing as I tried to aim. Inhale, exhale, inhale, and partway through my exhale I fired. I was not prepared for the recoil, thankfully I had placed it properly but it threw my aim way off.

I heard Four laugh beside me. I glared at him as I reloaded my gun. "You could have mentioned that!"

"I did, but you can't explain it it is best to let you feel and figure it out." I just glared as he reasoned with me. "Here," He poked and prodded my arms and legs until he was satisfied with my stance. "Feel that? Now relax. Now try again. No, bend this knee some more, and lift the gun to your face don't lower your face to the gun." He had me relax and fixed it twice more then let me shoot. I still missed the target but the recoil didn't bother me as much, he moved on as I reloaded. With the right position it felt much better, by lunchtime I was hitting the target two out of three tries, the bullets hit sporadically, but at least they hit.

After lunch we were back in the training room. We had just finished stretching when we heard Eric call out. "First jumper." He found Tris in the crowd. "In the ring. Last jumper. Lets see how you do in a fight!" Tris and Molly met on the mats.

"How long do we fight for."

"Until one of you cant fight any more." Eric said blandly.

Four stepped up before anyone else could react. "Or until one of you concedes."

Thank god, I thought just as Eric spoke again. "According to the old rules. The new rules state no one concedes."

Four muttered something to Eric and I saw the flash of anger as he yelled at Tris and Molly, "Start!"

This wouldn't be good. Molly was bigger and mean. Tris didn't stand a chance. After a few lame punches, Eric egged them on enough to start hitting harder. Tris got the first good hit but Molly must of barely felt it as she punched Tris in the face three times. The first two Tris blocked but the third landed and she stumbled. Molly moved forward without hesitation and Tris rammed into her gut, throwing two punches before Molly kneed her In the head and tossed her down. Three kicks later and Tris wasn't moving. "Enough!" Four called. I rushed into the ring to see if she was alright and felt cold at Erics next words.

"Stiff, since your so eager to be in the ring. You fight Drew." I looked up and gaped at him as Four lifted Tris over to a bench, she was already stirring. Drew was muscular, taller then me, and meaner then Molly. He just raised his eyebrows so I turned into the ring as Drew stepped up, smirking. I didn't care how bad I lost I was gonna knock that smirk off his face. I brought my arms up as Eric called start.

I circled to the side and Drew wasted no time in throwing a punch, hard, at my face. I blocked it but felt my arm tingle. Quickly he threw the exact same punch and I stepped right to avoid it while jabbing his now unprotected face. I hit him right in the jaw. Now he charged me so I tried to step right again and trip him but he pulled me down with him. I landed on top and hit his face three times before he flipped me. I pushed both legs between us and kicked his gut but as they flattened he came back and started punching. I kept trying to block but he got past my arms and hit my face so I reached out and jabbed his throat. He coughed and reeled backed as I rolled and staggered to my feet. I tried to kick him once but missed as he stood up as well. We charged at the same time but since I was shorter I was able to ram his stomach and punched him as hard as I could three times before he pulled my arm back. His knee connected with my ribs and he let my arm go as he kicked my leg and I fell. I was dizzy and tried to roll away but I rolled towards him and he kicked my ribs. Then he kicked my face. I was still concious when I heard Four call out to stop. I tried to look at him but my head was ringing so instead I focused on not throwing up.

"She's still concious." Eric said.

Four sounded angry as he replied. "But in no condition to fight, she can't move. I think that falls under the new rules." I felt someone lift my shoulders and I threw up, which hurt my ribs more then it should have. I felt myself being lifted and then placed on something else. I didn't hear what else was said because my head continued to spin, but I could feel that I was moving. When I managed to open my eyes I saw Eric talking to a woman and we were in a different room, but the lights were bright so I shut them again.

"Some people have a higher tolerance... If she's used to the pain her mind won't black out like someone else, that becomes dangerous in a fight."

"How long til she's up?" That voice was Eric. Where was I? I groaned as someone felt up my poor ribs.

"Well, they aren't broken so if she doesn't have a concussion she'll be released tonight." I didn't hear the rest of the conversation as they moved away. I guess I was in a med ward? It makes sense dauntless would have one. I can't believe I'm the first one here.

"Can you drink this?" The woman asked. I opened my mouth as she put something to my lips and tried to swallow, instantly I felt a cooling sensation in my head. "Pain killer." She smiled. "I'm going to check your ribs alright? Just lie still."

Her hands moved across my skin pressing down but I clenched my jaw to stop from moving. "Good, I think they're just bruised." She ran a wet cloth across my face and I saw the blood come off. "And I don't think anything needs to be stitched. Any other pains? No? OK just lie there for a bit ill check on you to see how your heads doing."

I must of fell asleep because soon she was shaking me into wakefulness. "There she is!" The woman said. "Can you stand up?"

Slowly she helped me sit up. I swung my legs to the edge of the bed and cautiously stood. When the world didn't lurch I took a tentative step. I was sore, but I felt mostly alright.

"Good, good. Take it easy on your ribs and try to avoid hits to the head since it's still tender. But your good to go."

I thanked her and turned to leave just as the door opened and Eric wheeled Al in on a moving bed. "We can't wake him up," He said. The woman quickly took over and Eric helped her shift him on to a bed. I watched her take his pulse and mutter to herself, Eric noticed me standing. "This one's ok?" I couldn't help but be offended at the way he referred to me.

"Good to go," She said distractedly.

He gestured to me to follow but I stayed where I was. "I want to make sure he's ok."

Erics face darkened, "You can come with me or I can hit you over the head and you can stay here with him."

I almost refused again but I had a feeling he was serious. He'd probably enjoy knocking me out. I looked at Al before slowly walking towards the door, I heard him behind me once I was in the hallway.

"Move faster." He growled pushing on my shoulder. I stumbled and stopped as my vision blurred a bit.

"I'm trying." I gasped as I steadied myself with a hand on the wall. I continued forward, I don't think I went faster but he didn't push me again. I followed him down the halls and I think he slowed his pace so I could keep up but I'm pretty sure he'd threaten to hit me again if I mentioned it. Or maybe just hit me with no warning. I shivered, he seemed to be a very callous man. He led me to the training room. Everyone looked a little worse for wear as they sat in a group in front of Four. I sat beside Christina and Four continued what he was saying without pause, Eric now standing beside him.

"-and since you were able to watch the others fight you may have seen their different techniques." We sat there for the next half hour while he explained that we needed to figure out our advantages. He gave a few different ideas and told us to watch for other peoples weaknesses. "We're done for today. Tomorrow morning be up on the roof by eight." Everyone stood up and headed out the door but I stayed sitting, I wasn't sure I could stand from the floor. I saw Tris look over but she stopped coming over when Four stood in front of me. He reached down and I grasped his hands letting him pull me up. "You're ok?" He asked concerned.

I smiled. "Fit as a fiddle." I assured him. Before he could say anything else Eric was impatiently calling him over to a table. With a last look at him I followed the others out the door and made it to the cafeteria. It took a long time as I shuffled slowly, and by the time I got there the table my friends were at was full. I was about to turn around when someone slipped their arm over my shoulder. "Am I ever gonna learn you're name?" I twisted to look at Zeke as he started walking me towards a table. I was too tired and sore to protest but I shrugged his arm off.

"I don't know," I replied just as teasingly as I sat in the seat he pushed me towards. "I kinda like being called beautiful."

He laughed sitting beside me. "Yea, well Four told me to lay off."

"But he didn't give you my name?"

He shrugged. "He's a little weird."

I laughed and a girl sat across from me. "What happened to your face?"

I was suddenly self conscious having not showered or even seen myself yet. "Training." I tried to say casually.

"And Eric says I will scare the initiates. He has them trying to kill each other."

"I wasn't trying to kill anyone!" I protested after I swallowed some food. "I'm Clair." I directed towards the woman across from me, but answering Zekes question.

"Shauna," She replied. A few others filled the table around us and I ate the rest of my meal slowly, my jaw aching after each bite.

"Do all the initiates look like that?" A guy sitting next to Shauna asked me.

"Why does everyone keep commenting on my face!" I complained.

He smirked at me, "I hope the other guy looks worse."

I hung my head, but then almost squealed in delight as Shauna put her cake on my plate.

"I think you need that more then me." She laughed. "Besides, my shift starts soon."

I thanked her profusely as she got up laughing and walked away. "I'll get beat up more often if it means cake!" I said. I heard them laugh as someone sat in Shaunas vacated seat.

"Cake is very fattening, not at all flattering to gain weight so quickly. " I glared up at Eric as he laughed at me. Still staring at him I purposefully took another bite.

"Eric," They guy beside him said mockingly. "You can't call a girl fat." He leaned in to stage whisper, "They don't like that."

I just sighed and took another bite. I finished my cake, and learnt the guys name was Levi. He seemed to be the only person Eric actively liked. He was funny, and wasn't afraid to step on someone's shoes to get a laugh. Unfortunately he seemed to think I was a good target.

"If your quite finished insulting me," I said standing. "I have things to do. Shower for one, as you've repeatedly reminded me what awful shape my face is in." He waved me away already deep in conversation with someone else.

I headed towards the dorm and was surprised to find it empty. Without complaint I showered, taking my time, and let myself relax. Whatever pain medicine I was given must be wearing off because everything was starting to hurt a lot more. By the time I was dressed I didn't think id be able to fall asleep despite being exhausted. I made the decision to find the med ward again and see if I could get more pain relief.

I was very lost before I admitted it was a stupid plan, I really had no idea where it was. "They need to put up signs." I muttered.

"Why?"

I jumped and spun around, which didn't help my pain, and looked at Eric surprised.

"Why are you the one I keep running into?" I demanded, too sore and tired to care he might get mad.

"Because I have terrible luck." He said dryly. "Where are you going?"

"I'm trying to find the lady with the pain relief drink."

"Have you tried the med station?" He asked like I was retarded.

"I don't know where it is. Or where I am." I admitted.

"I can see that."

I couldn't think of anything else to say so I stayed quiet. He watched me for a moment before grabbing my arm and pulling me down the hallway I just came from. I didn't even try to pull away, wearily I let him drag me through the compound. We reached the same room as earlier and once inside I saw that the woman was the only one there, Al must have been released.

"You again! What happened?"

"I found her wandering the halls, disoriented."

"I'm not disoriented, " I murmured sitting down on the closest bed.

"Sure, sure," The woman said softly before rummaging in some counters in back . I didn't even remember Eric was there until his hand steadied my shoulder, I blushed as I realized I had been about to fall over asleep. He kept his hand on me as she returned with a cup. "Drink this,"

I swallowed the whole thing and once again my head immediately cleared. The pain started to ebb away and I was left feeling even more exhausted, if possible.

"Make sure she gets to bed, otherwise she might sleep on the floor and that would make her worse."

What did that mean? Why would I sleep on a floor? I was on a bed. A soft bed. Why is someone tugging my arm.

"You need to be in your dorm, or you'll miss training tomorrow."

I looked at him without really seeing. Training? What's so important about tomorrow? There's a bed right here.

I tried to move towards the bed but he was pulling me away. I think I moaned at being forced to walk. Suddenly I was flipped sideways and it took me a second to become aware that I was being carried. I'm not sure who carried me but I could think about that later, right now I was able to fall asleep. I pushed my face into the warmth, my hand clutching the shirt against my eyes to block the light, as I happily passed out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the delay. I tried to edit like four times and it kept deleting and shit = one pissed off author. Here it is though!**

**Chapter Six**

The next morning I woke up to the quiet beeping of Wills watch. I laid silently, comfortably, in bed and tried to remember how I got there. I thought I went to get pain relief, and I think I got lost. Did Eric help me find it? That didn't sound like something he'd do, so why is he coming to mind? Maybe I just returned here and passed out, I was so tired, the nightmares had been making sleep scarce. As someone turned the light on I crawled off my bunk. I sat beside Tris to tie my shoes.

"You're awake!" She said surprised.

"Thanks for the confidence. " I laughed. "I actually feel good."

"Well, you were passed out after we got finding Al and taking him to eat. Even Peter and Drew making noise purposely didn't wake you up."

That should have made me happy but I felt uncomfortable knowing they were around me while I was out of it. I finished getting ready and quietly waited for the others, who didn't sleep in full clothes. I led the way to the cafeteria and filled my plate as they sat around me. I was absolutely starving. Apparently they were used to my large quantity of food as they didn't say anything about it, I appreciated it as I hated small talk.

After eating we climbed up to the roof and spent the morning shooting guns. By lunchtime I could consistently hit the target but had no hope in getting groupings. I wasn't the worst but I was nowhere near as good as Peter and that irked me. He was a jerk he was supposed to fail. As I returned my gun and fell in step with Al I noticed Eric frowning at us. I scrambled to think if we had done something wrong but he made no move to stop us so I continued to lunch, still pondering why.

After lunch we were back in the training room. Four told us we'd have fights every other day. At least we had a small window to try and heal. I spent my afternoon doing stretches, weights and running laps, I didn't want to aggravate my ribs or head by taking any hits. Near the end if the day I found a punching bag to practice against. By the time Four called time for supper I was exhausted. I grouped up with my friends and headed for food. While eating we let Christina talk us into going to the tattoo parlour, to celebrate our first week being dauntless.

"I want a tattoo!" She said eagerly as we followed her through the pit.

I laughed at her excitement. "You've said,"

"What are you getting?" She asked.

I shrugged, the others tossing ideas around. Once there we all parted and I casually browsed the displays, nothing really catching my eye.

I turned as a back door opened, "Seriously?" I mumbled under my breath as, of course, Eric walked out.

He frowned at me. "I would tell you to stop following me but your hard to miss and get lost so often you'd be a terrible stalker."

I put down the floral pattern I had been studying. "Stop," I turned to face him. "Calling me fat. I spent my childhood giving my food away. How could I possibly be fat?"

"Why did you waste so much time on factionless?" He asked in disdain, I could easily see he did not think highly of them.

"Don't change the subject. I want you to agree to stop calling me fat."

He smirked as he studied my figure again. "Why do you care if you don't believe me."

"And stop looking at me!" I hissed quietly, blushing. Why the fuck was I always blushing around him. Zeke flirted openly and I didn't even blush.

He took a step closer, amused. "Why?"

I spluttered before answering, "What do you mean why? It's rude!"

"In abnegation maybe, in dauntless most woman take it as a compliment."

I opened my mouth to say I was raised abnegation then snapped it shut. That is a trap I'm not walking into. "Well I'm not like most woman, I won't just fall into your bed because you looked at me."

He looked even more amused, he was enjoying making me uncomfortable. "You think most woman will do what I want with just a look?" He asked softly, smirking, coming closer still.

He was too close and was purposely confusing me and directing the conversation in a place I didn't want it to go. "I'm too tired for this." I said bluntly.

He looked surprised at my change of topic, then recovered himself. "I know a way to make you tired." He was right in front of me now and my jaw dropped. He did not just imply what I think he did.

I had to escape or change the topic and since I doubted I could explain to Christina why I left I went for the latter.

"Oh? Planning on having someone bigger and stronger beat me up again?" Instantly his face changed to anger and I realized I probably made a mistake, though I have no idea why.

"Maybe if you weren't so fucking weak you'd stand a chance." He said aggressively before shoving past me and out of the parlour.

I'm not sure why but I was hurt at being called weak by him. I knew I was weak. What did I care if he called me on it. He was a jerk, my brother obviously didn't like him that should have been my first hint. I went to the front and found a stylist who had a moment to do a tattoo for me, I wanted it right under my bra line, cursive writing on my left side. _Sometimes you have to allow yourself to be weak, in order to grow stronger._ Once it was finished I found the others waiting just outside the parlour for me. I wanted to find a watch, with their help we found a store with assorted goods tucked into a corner. I let Christina pick it out since she wasn't getting one and I didn't care. It was a little more delicate then I'd like but it would suffice.

We made our way back to the dorm and after showering I climbed into my bunk. Setting the watch I stuck it under my pillow so it wouldn't wake the others, and let myself fall asleep.

* * *

><p>The next morning the muffled beeping woke me up, I quickly shut it off and laid there for a moment, before shuffling out of my bed. Moving around in the darkened room I found a shirt and changed into some pants, it was significantly more comfortable to sleep in shorts and sports bra. I picked up my shoes and put them on in the hallway before heading to the training room. I used the hour I had, having woke up early, to practice before breakfast. I might be improving but so was everyone else, I had to put in more time then them.<p>

I woke up early like that for the next week, and even went back after supper. By the time I made it back to the dorm everyone else had showered so the timing worked out perfectly. By the third morning Tris had woken up with me and followed me out. She said I had woken her up and there was no point trying to sleep but I knew she needed as much practice as I did. I didn't say anything about it but it was nice not to be alone, occasionally other people came in but that early everyone kept to themselves. Tris was a good sparring partner, too. We were into the third week of initiation before I had another encounter with Eric. During the day I felt like he was avoiding me, which was absurd. Tris had taken I run so I was alone using a bag.

"Keep your core tight." He said as his hand landed on my stomach. I was extremely proud of myself for not screaming as he snuck up on me and touched my bare skin as I had taken to just wearing the sports bra. Most dauntless woman trained like that and I decided that if I wanted to become one I should dress more like one. The room was dark any ways, not like anyone could see much. Except the person who was now entirely too close.

"Fine," I said tersely, suddenly regretting not taking the run with her.

I'm pretty sure I felt him smirk as he was close enough make me uncomfortable but not close enough to impair my motions as I practised. Taking that as my hint I started up punching again, slowly, half afraid he'd would try and put me on my back again. I was very surprised that he did nothing more then give me helpful tips for the next half hour. Repositioning me for different punches and jabs and kicks, so each one would be able to give the best force rather then just a generic stance.

"The only difference is you'll be more unbalanced until you pull back, so while your punch might do more harm, if you miss and they hit you chances are you'll be knocked on your ass."

I nodded, trying to ignore the heat from his hands as they lefts my shoulders and slid down my arms. "Twist," He said, "Here, as you move in. Your small and quick but it will take three hits for you to do the same damage your friend Al could do in one. You need to focus on getting those hits in before your opponent can do one."

I shifted a little so I could look at him. He seemed more relaxed in this setting, obviously fighting was his thing, he was comfortable. He didn't feel the need to project himself as authoritatively as he did while we were doing something else. Maybe that's why I felt comfortable enough to ask; "Small and quick, are you finally admitting I'm not fat?"

His hands left my arms to trail across my abdomen and sides. "Now that you aren't wearing too large clothes," He started lowly, his voice laced with something I couldn't name. "I can see perfectly fine. You're much more toned," I shivered, was he closer to me? "Your extra sessions are paying off."

I roused myself enough to try and lean away a little, despite the fact the that I was enjoying the heat of his presence. "How do you know about them?"

He was now facing me and I had to tilt my head just slightly to fully see his face. "You're in a public training room. You're not the only one to use it in the morning, or evenings."

"I've never seen you." Maybe if I kept talking he'd drop his arms, and I could leave. I haven't been touched this much since... I couldn't help myself as I jerked away trying to redirect my train of thought, my back hit the bag and anger flashed in his face as he too stepped away.

I almost sighed in relief, no more touching. "You aren't very smart, most people try to stay aware of their surroundings. I've been here regularly. Even the other stiff noticed." He insulted me. 'The other stiff.' He still thought of me as a little abnegation girl, I could come first in rankings and he probably wouldn't change his mind.

I bent to grab my shirt, pulling it on quickly suddenly very self conscious. "Sorry," I muttered as I darted around him. I'm not sure what I apologized for, but I can admit, to myself at least, that I was fleeing. Without looking back I rushed through the training room doors towards the cafeteria. I got there earlier then usual, so just focused on eating everything around me. My body had finally caught up to the larger portions and I thought it was ironic for him to admit I wasn't fat now that I actually was bigger. I poked my thigh and decided most was muscle, but my clothes all had gotten much tighter. I filled my plate generously and was halfway through when the others joined me.

"Christina? " I said once she was settled.

"What," She mumbled through a mouthful of eggs.

"Would you like to go browse for clothes after supper?" I smiled as she instantly perked up.

"Yes! That would be amazing," She grinned at me.

"I'm just noticing I've put on some weight," I ignored the muttered 'really' as Will pointedly stared at my plate. "I need larger sizes."

"Awesome!" She then went off on all the things she wanted. I tried to pay attention but it just really wasn't as interesting to me. Thankfully she was just happy to be on the subject.

When we reached the training room we looked to the board to see the days fights. I was paired with Peter. I sighed dramatically. "Maybe we won't make it shopping tonight." I told Christina, placing a hand on my forehead as if I might faint. "Looks like I get the spend the evening with beloved Susan." The main medic in dauntless was the lady I first met, Susan.

They laughed, but it was uncomfortable. Peter had recently shown a viciousness, unrelenting in his attacks no matter how weak his opponent was. I was pretty sure Edward was the only one who could beat him. Al might stand a chance with his size but the poor guy hated fights. As we got closer I saw Tris talking with Peter while Drew and Molly laughed beside him.

His eyes locked on me gleefully. "There's the other one!" He shouted.

Tris looked furious. "What?" I snapped suddenly defensive seeing the look on her face.

"Is it true?!" He demanded.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, you moron."

"Did your father beat you? Is that why you defected? " He laughed loudly, irritatingly.

I impressed myself for the second time that day by not reacting as I instinctively wanted to. "Where there hell is that garbage coming from?" I asked, merely clenching my jaw rather then trembling at our conversation topic.

"Apparently Erudite thinks abnegation beat their children!" Tris said in a very high pitched voice. "And hides warehouses full of food and supplies."

Oh, I thought, I had heard that Erudite was mad at us. Them, I'm Dauntless now.

"Well it's true, we've known that for years!" Drew said.

"Abnegation does not horde supplies!" I snapped. "Even part of our portions would sometimes go to the factionless!"

"But you don't deny your father beating you, that's why you left." Peter interrupted wickedly.

My jaw dropped. "No, you're right of course." He smiled triumphantly before I continued. "Obviously the only reason someone would transfer is because of a bad home life. I bet it was your mom, who beat you." I ignored his stunned look and turned to Drew. "But you, must of been your father. I can see it in the way you go crawling to Peter for approval, you crave a mans touch." I held myself from snarling, how dare they try to hurt me, or ruin abnegation.

Drew spluttered but it was Peters turn to be angry, as the others laughed at him. Before he could get too close a voice stopped him.

"That's enough!" Four was very tense. "You are all Dauntless. How many fucking times do we have to tell you. Enough with your previous factions. The next person who brings it up won't have a faction." That stopped everyone, it was the first time he had threatened us with being factionless. Eric did, daily, but never him. I think it might have made it a little more real for everyone. I knew he was mad at the topic, but still. I needed to fight harder, I wouldn't become factionless. Suddenly I felt much better about my fight, Peter would make a good target as I had no qualms about hitting him.

"First fight," Eric shouted out already by the mats.

Will and Christina took position. It was a pathetic fight, Will didn't want to hurt her but at the reminder of being factionless he didn't want to lose. Finally, way too long if Erics face was anything to go by, a solid hit to the temple knocked her out. Will carefully lifted her off to the sides. She had until the next fight was over to regain herself and continue the days training otherwise she would be sent to see Susan. No one wanted to lose training time, that meant losing points in ranking.

"Edward, Al!"

The next two stepped up. After Edward beat Al, Molly beat Myra and Tris lost to Drew. The fights had taken much longer then normal is was almost lunch time and only Peter and I were left. "Last fight!" Four called.

I stepped into the ring, just looking at him had my anger rising. At him, and at the emotions he had brought up, I never wanted to think about that. Remembering Erics words from this morning I moved quickly, stepping forward I punched him twice before moving out of reach. He blocked both and followed me as I tried to circle behind him. I kicked out my foot to trip him but he stayed on his feet, and lunged in to punch my gut. By the time I had got four good hits in he had hit my ribs just as many times. I was protecting my face so his strategy was to aim lower. It would take longer, and be painful, but he was strong enough for it. I had to make the hits to his face otherwise they barely made an impact. I let my guard down just slightly and as expected he lunged in to hit, I easily sidestepped and threw my power into his now unprotected face. Blood splattered out his nose and he headbutted me, successfully getting me to the ground. I tried to roll him off, punch his face, ribs legs anything and everything. I kept his hits mostly to my ribs but he took advantage of my lack of defence to hit my face. There was a lot of blood so I wiped some of it on his face, and eyes. He reeled back to get it out and got him off me and stood quickly. As he staggered to his feet I kicked hard and quick to his ribs, collarbone and face, he protected the latter but it was enough to knock him over again.

I moved in planning to keep kicking as I had the advantage of being standing but he quickly took that away, grabbing my ankle and pulling me down. I hit the floor hard and gasped as my breath left me, barely seeing his oncoming fist, finally with enough force to knock me out. I woke up a few minutes later to Four wiping my face with a cloth, I saw Eric washing blood off the mats, but everyone else was gone. I tried to frown but it hurt. "You're gonna have a nasty black eye but you woke quickly enough, no permanent damage."

I moaned in reply. He grimaced, and continued to clean my face. "How do your ribs feel?"

I groaned again. "Clair." I opened my eyes, he looked very concerned.

"Sore, Peter?" Please tell me I damaged him a little.

Four smirked. "He went to shower, he had much more blood on him the you did. If you hadn't fought back so aggressively his plan would have worked. As it is most of your damage is your ribs and arms and his is his face. I don't think he expected that. Though what he expected after egging you like that beats me."

He helped me stand and I sagged into him. He must of got my right leg at some point my shin was throbbing.

"If you can't walk to the dining hall you may as well go to the medics ward." Eric said walking towards the door. I saw that he looked incensed as he walked by us. Using Fours arms as support I tried to stand on my own. It hurt but I managed. He walked with me the whole way, stopping and letting me lean on his shoulder twice before we made it. He helped my sit beside Will once we reached their table and surprised me by sitting next to me. He just shrugged as I looked at him, starting to fill his plate. The others all winced and asked how sore I was, and congratulated me on bloodying up Peter. I let Tris fill my plate since I couldn't reach everything and listened to Will as he told me to eat my vegetables. It was actually nice, and I felt my brother next to me and was reassured the whole meal. We had had two real conversations since I arrived and just sitting with him was pleasant.

Once we finished eating I felt well enough to, slowly, walk by myself to the training room. The others let me set the pace and I felt a surge of gratitude, I liked having friends.

Once there we moved to the back wall where Knives had been set out. Without waiting for orders we grabbed a set and picked a target. Every throw hurt so I took my time aiming to try and limit the pain. By the time supper rolled around I was only gathering my knives every other round. Four called for us to clean up but Eric's voice stopped me.

"Since you took so long throwing each set, you can stay late, to catch up. You're a good ten rounds behind the others." He was behind me, I turned to face him and saw Four coming over to argue. "Four," Eric was in no mood to hear it from him. "You better make sure the others get to supper on time, I have a feeling if left alone they might try fighting in the halls."

He was right of course, Tris was still mad about earlier, and so were the others. Four looked about ready to argue any ways but stopped at a glare from Eric. "Now." It was an order. You couldn't just ignore an order from a Dauntless leader. The look Four gave as he left left no questions to how he felt about Eric, but I just tried to smile reassuringly as I turned to start throwing. Any other day I would be happy to continue, I actually liked knives, but everything just hurt so much.

The first two hit the board but the third was hilt first and fell to the ground. I heard him grunt as the knife fell. "Go get them, you can do better than that." I walked forward and picked them up but the disdainful look on his face as I moved back into place had my anger rising again. It had been simmering all afternoon but he knew I was sore, he was doing this for some sick sadistic reason.

So I stood defiantly in front him. "I can do better. I'm one of the best at throwing them." I growled at him.

He looked at me ferociously, "Then stop standing there and do it. One round, all of them in the center ring, and you can go to dinner."

I looked at the target but hesitated. I wouldn't be able to do that right now. "I can't."

"What's a matter?" He mocked. "I thought you said you were good."

"I am good and you know it!" I yelled. "You're being unreasonable! "

"You said your good. Hit the fucking target."

"No."

I could literally feel the anger flowing off him in waves as he advanced towards me. Just before he was about to say something I heard someone call him name. He stopped and pulled something out of his pocket. "Eric," The voice said urgently. "Control room. Now."

"We're done here." He said. Saved by the bell apparently. I tried to rush by him but was jerked back painfully as he yanked my arm, my back pressed into his chest, his anger must of turned into heat it felt like he was burning me. "Don't ever say no to me again." He snarled into my ear dangerously. I didn't even look at him once he released my arm, just ran for the door basically throwing my knives onto the table. I fled from him for the second time that day.

**A/N: I've been trying to figure out how to put it in the story but nope! So I just want to add Clair and Four are keeping distance and not announcing being siblings due to favouritism, Marcus ect ect also, one of the things I may have made ooc for Eric is that he cares about the faction, the direction its going in and while obviously thinks himself better and more important even cares about the people a little. (Which I'll have Four bring up in a later chapter...) which is why you'll see him working with the initiates more often. It's kinda the main point that changes my stories outcome at the end of training. Besides my OC.**


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